Surviving the Storms

Have you ever had a moment in time where it feels like everything is harder than it needs to be? A theoretically simple task becomes overly complicated or time consuming. And perhaps those things begin to pile up. I’m sure you can relate. My assumption is everyone has gone through an experience like that (and probably more than once). It can be draining, frustrating, and discouraging, to name a few emotions.

The month of July provided my piled on, overly complicated storm. As the executor of my father’s will and trust, there were numerous hoops to jump through to secure his assets and distribute them to his beneficiaries. It’s unfortunate that that process, while grieving, has to be so difficult and involved. To my dad’s credit he had his ducks in a row, and it was still challenging. While navigating through that maze of forms, notary signatures, and scanned documents my less than a year-old laptop battery decided to stop working. After spending hours over the course of a couple of days with my now new best friend from HP support, that issue was resolved but it definitely wasn’t easy. Subsequently, there was an issue with my cell phone, and I spent hours at the Apple store to get that resolved. (They offered to put me on the payroll since I was there so long). I’m keenly aware that these “issues” are first world problems and that some people would be grateful to even have any type of technology (although these weren’t working well so maybe not?). Even though I felt all of the emotions I named above and then some, I did fight (not always successfully) to try to keep perspective. One thing I know I did do well, which I believe is a component of self-care, was to express how I was feeling. So much so that I even broke down with the bank manager as there were issues with my dad’s account. I told friends and family when I felt I was hanging on by a thread. My daughter came to offer me moral support as I sat at the Apple store for hours (it was a great chance to catch up with her and we did a demo of their new Virtual Pro product which is amazing!) It was obvious I was in a temporary storm and so I just owned it. I felt my feelings and talked about them. I warned people around me that I was feeling prickly and was making my way through a difficult time. Through all of it I got support, empathy and grace. Now that I’m on the other side, I’m grateful for and can soak up the lighter moments.

So, what does this have to do with you? As we head into our last month of summer break and prepare for the new school year ahead, I hope you can hold on to some of the lessons I learned as I worked my way through the whirlwind last month. The obvious first one is storms come and go…they blow in, dump on you and roll out. Try to stand as firmly as possible during that time. I can tell you I was bending and close to breaking several times, but others helped to bolster me and keep me secure on my feet. That leads to the next lesson. We need each other, lean on one another. Sometimes you may be the one leaning and other times someone may lean on you. We can’t do it all alone. Know who your go-to supports are, have them at the ready and give them the signal when it’s go time (make sure they know what the signal is). Be honest when you are at your breaking point, it's ok to not always be strong. It’s ok to need help and to communicate that. Give people the opportunity to give to you (for a change?). Feel your feelings and talk about them. It’s not healthy to ignore your emotions (your body will suffer for that) and it’s helpful to get them out. Put them on paper, speak them into the air, share them with a trusted ally. They have less weight that way and don’t’ feel as heavy. It’s freeing!

There is a good chance as you head back into the classroom, school building or your office, wherever you find yourself in the coming year, that you will experience a storm. I’m sure you can imagine what that could entail, unruly students, too many administrative tasks, short-staffed, etc. The storm will come but my hope is that you will be ready for it when it does. Know that you are not alone, you can share your experiences and feelings with those around you and ask for support. We all need it at different times in our lives. Then we can relish the lighter moments even stronger, together.