Stay Happy
On a recent trip, one of the rooms I stayed in had a plaque hanging on the wall that had simple encouragements about how to live, “Give thanks”, “Try new things”, “Use kind words”, etc. However, the only one I could truly read from bed, without my glasses when I first woke up was “Stay Happy”. I’m not sure if it was because that font was so large but that was the one that stood out and greeted me each morning. In all honesty, the first time I saw it I felt cynical, thinking, “That’s impossible to STAY happy.” My next thought was “Don’t tell me what to do.” But then my final thought was more accepting and reflective as I thought, “staying happy is a choice”. Just like those other statements, we can choose to give thanks or try new things or use kind words, just like we can choose to stay happy. I must admit it feels pretty hard to do sometimes, especially recently as our political climate is in disarray and people’s livelihoods are in jeopardy. I know I’m not the only one that feels these are heavy, "unprecedented" times. In fact, a colleague said to me the other day, “I just want to live in ‘precedented’ times for a change”.
To that point, I got a text from one of the people closest to me that said, “I know you can relate to this feeling… I am so drained, overwhelmed, stressed and exhausted of just thinking. How do you get out of this mindset?” My first reaction was “Oh no! I love this person so much and hate they are feeling this way.” And then as I thought about how to respond, the truth is I wasn’t sure what to say back. How do I get out of that mindset? Ironically that text came at the same time as I was feeling many of those similar feelings. I had just come out of an intense meeting that put me on my heels. I was reeling as I processed all the implications for myself professionally. I was in a tailspin emotionally and was spiraling. So at that moment, I didn’t really feel like I had the answer. I had to stop for a minute to contemplate how to “shake it off” myself first to then help this person do the same. My love for them motivated me to try to figure it out. So what I said back was “I hate moments like this. I had a [similar] day so I can relate. I’m here for you but even though it doesn’t help in hard times like this, I know that things will work out, they always do.” That was all I had right then. It sorta helped me too as I continue to process where to go from here.
That situation reminded me of conversations I’ve had with so many educators over the years who feel those same emotions and feel powerless to change it. I see why people think their only option is to quit, step away from the profession because it can become so overwhelming. I’ve felt like running away this week too. So my question to you (and me) is how do we get out of that mindset? How can we stay happy? I don’t have all the answers, but here is what I do when in that space. I think about what I do have. I have health, family, friends, etc. I think about what I can control. My words, reactions, thoughts (even though they may come fast and furious, I have to let them come, feel the feeling associated with the thought and then challenge it or reframe it or embrace it, whatever is going to help me progress). I remember I have choices, I can choose how to respond, how to internalize, how to use the information I have to take care of myself. I can set different boundaries and perimeters to protect myself as needed. I can choose my response and how to move forward. Essentially, you/me/we are not powerless. We can choose to be happy and stay happy. It is a matter of perspective.
So as we head into a new month, and life throws us unexpected curveballs which it always seems to do, I hope we can acknowledge what we feel in those moments, see them for what they are, validate their difficulty but then find small ways to stay happy. So for me, that means I need to go for a walk right now. That helps me feel happy during hard times. Wishing you happiness!